San Francisco Waitress
Written by Eberhard Schoener
From the album: Video Magic
 

 

San Francisco, July 27
A 40 year-old accountant had lost his bid to collect 38 dollars in damages from a cocktail waitress
Who broke a date with him

Judge Richard Figoney ruled yesterday in small claims court against Tom Hosley
Who sought the money from Alison Cheeselet, 31
because she had backed out on a date to accompany him to the theater
Mr. Hosley said he drove 35 miles from his home in Campbell to San Francisco
To pick up Ms. Cheeslet and was upset that she had not called him before he left home to tell him the date was off

Judge, explaining his decision, said:
"The promise to engage in a social relationship for one evening in exchange for affection and all one evening at the theater
is an impossible [?]
[?] involving a contract."

Mr. Hosley had presented the cardboard
broken heart at the theater
And Judge Figoney took note of it in his opinion

Quintilia
in the first century A.D.
observed that faint hopes are often like the dreams that waltz away
Plantiff's exhibit A for identification:
A cardboard object in the shape of a broken heart
is all that returned to the plantiff
with the court mindful of [?]
[?] there we part
Give me back my broken heart
Oh, give me back my broken heart

Hahaha ha ha